In an effort to look half decent at my wedding, I have hired my fabulous cousin Toni to whip my ass into shape for the next 5 months. We meet Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 7am at the fitness center in her complex. Today was my second session with her. Every single muscle in my body wants to jump out of my skin and run away.
I think that I had convinced myself that Toni was more of a "fitness expert" (whatever that means) than trainer. Boy was I wrong. Today she causally mentioned her friend "Jackie" as in Bravo TV's "Work Out" series Jackie and how she trains with her when she is in LA visiting her sister. I barely heard her since my muscles were screaming and my brain was crying because let's face it - I am an out of shape, middle aged woman, who thinks she is still a size 8 regardless of the fact that she no longer works out and eats whatever you put in front of her.
It was grim this morning when my alarm went off at 6:30. I almost called her and told her to forget it. My abs were so sore it hurt to cough or laugh, every time I turned around in bed last night I was reminded of my work out on Monday and not in a good way. But I didn't call her - I got my ass out of bed and went to see her. How pathetic is it that I can barely do 5 push ups? And my dress is strapless - how sad for my enormous flabby out of shape arms. At least we have 5 months to make this happen. Toni seems confident that it will happen. I am still not convinced.
OK, back to work. I will keep you posted on the results of my training - which also involves a detailed nutrition plan designed by Toni herself. Bye, bye Lime flavored Tortilla chips, Pepperoni pizza and Godiva truffles...hello organic green apples and water!