Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Mommy Lens

I never truly realized how much having my own child would color the way I look at the world.

A few years back, my new book club decided to read the Kite Runner. I had already read the book and loved it so I was excited to talk about it with new people. Before the meeting I asked my SIL about it and she admitted that she only read half the book. "I could not get past that one scene...you know...where the little boy gets attacked," she said to me. "I think it is because I have two sons and all I can think about is them when I read the book." "Sure," I said, "that makes sense to me." But in my head I thought, how silly of her. The book is so good...she is missing out on a sad but great story.

I think about this conversation a lot lately. Now that Simon is here I see everything through Mommy colored glasses. A commercial for Save the Children unleashes uncontrollable sobs. Suddenly, the little boy on the screen has my son's face and his suffering is unbearable. I hear a story about kids bringing guns to school on the news. My mind immediately flashes to Simon in middle school, sitting at his desk, unaware that the kid next to him has a gun in his locker. My heart skips a beat at the thought of him in peril.

Not all of this is gloom and doom. The melody of the Jack and Jill truck has me daydreaming of summers to come, Simon's face all dirty with melted ice cream and a huge satisfied smile. I see the signs for Phillies Baseball Camp at Upper Merion and I envision my son in his baseball uniform sliding into home plate. Prom season has me wondering about the person my son will take to prom...what will this person be like? Will Dan and I approve?

This Mommy Vision has taken me by surprise. I knew things would change and it is only logical that my world view would change as well...but I am still just amazed at how different the everything looks to me now. Amazed yet pleased. I would not change my mommy glasses for the world.

2 comments:

Phil said...

I found my daddy ears the other day. Went to the store, heard a baby cry and jerked my head to find the source... never happened before.

Italianissima said...

Phil, it is amazing isn't it. I cannot imagine my life without my little man now. Claire is beautiful. Congrats!